‘The Journey Not the Destination’

          The land of an unforgettable past, a promising future, the skies are like a palate of distinctive colors. The sun has been witness to gallant wars and phenomenal passion, from the fall of an empire and the rise of a colony from a land of tradition and culture to a land of modernization, from being its own master to being a slave. The old trees that carry the roots of its enduring culture, each day, remind the people of who they are. The awe-inspiring Gomti River reflects the renaissance of every field ranging from food to poetry, from art and architecture to politics and music. This is the land of ‘Nawabs’, the city that rose from the ashes to unfold its wings and soar. This city is Lucknow.

         In my first year, I always wondered what it would be like discovering a place, rather a unique aspect of that place. It sounded so electrifying and I just couldn’t wait to encounter what my seniors had experienced. They had such enthralling stories to tell, which motivated me even further. Soon I was in my second year, and it was my turn now to have one of the few life changing experiences. My whole batch was on their toes deciding where to go and what it would be like. Every conversation that we had earlier was something to do with other people or our subjects but now the only conversations we had was about Discover India Project.

      No sooner did the time come when we had to submit our chosen place, ours was Lucknow. I had never been to Lucknow; in fact no one from my group had been to Lucknow so we were all looking forward to our journey. Various questions found their way into my head, is this the place I really want to visit, what if the place doesn’t turn out to be any different than I thought it would be, but then again one has to think positively. Immense amount of work began. Pre-field research was a must. Hours turned into days and days into months. Finally the countdown had begun. Researching about Lucknow was a real delight. Most of the books or articles I read about Lucknow, spoke essentially of the ‘courtly manners’, the food, the music and the embroidery.

    The big day had arrived. This time around, it was my turn to tell my juniors, alluring stories about Lucknow.  There was just one thing that was bothering me, travelling by train. It was an experience I vaguely remember. However, this train journey is something I will never forget; it was so picturesque, the green fields, the brown hills, the tiny village huts, the cattle scattered grazing in the fields. I just couldn’t wait to get to Lucknow. Every station we stopped at, the wait grew unbearable. This experience was going to be inimitable; I had never travelled so far with friends. I’ve travelled to quite a few cities with one motive, ‘to holiday’. This time again there was one motive, not to holiday, but to achieve what we came looking for, something that no city had, but Lucknow. This instance, I had to look at Lucknow not only through my eyes but more over through the eyes of the Lucknowiites.

   The journey was long yet worthwhile. We had arrived in Lucknow. As we got off the station we hurried into the auto to head to our hotel which was situated in New Lucknow. As we travelled from the station to New Lucknow, there was a huge transformation. The narrow streets had become wider; the old, dilapidated houses turned into buildings, the tiny shops had turned into huge malls, the old had become the new!

   The people were so hospitable and courteous. Whenever we lost our way, the auto driver would get down and ask people for directions and if we got down to look for directions they’d say don’t worry, please sit, I’ll look for the directions. There was this one incident that I clearly remember when we were four people standing on the road looking for an auto. Two autos stopped, both, already hired. One auto had four passengers and the other was carrying one passenger. The man from the auto got off and sat in the other auto with four people so that the four of us could sit together in one auto. This incident just took me by surprise. Never in my nineteen years had I seen anyone do that in Mumbai. When we told the people about our project, they were more than willing to help us. They’d give us some suggestions of people and places we could go to visit. When we interviewed some people they’d patiently sit and answer all our questions. It was just so overwhelming.

   Lucknow is known for its mouth watering kebabs, being a vegetarian there was not a lot of places I could go visit. But the sweets and the ‘chaats’ were so appetizing, especially the ‘paani puri.’

  The ‘Chikan’ and ‘Ari-Zardozi’ embroidery was so opulent. On one side you have the Chikan Kari work which was so simple yet stylish and on the other, you have the Ari-Zardozi embroidery which is so grand yet elegant. The embellished clothes were so beautiful, they spoke to me. They whispered, ‘pick me.’ Every street I went to had plenty of shops selling these well-stitched clothes. Studying about how these clothes were actually made was so intriguing. I had the benefit to speak to several craftsmen. Each of their work was so inspiring and fine.

   The architecture was magnificent. I was awe-stricken looking at the monuments. The strategy and the design that the architect had thought of was just surreal. It was really heart breaking to know that most of these monuments that were built with such grandeur were actually looted by the British. Even after losing its wealth, the monuments never lost its pride.

   There was something about these Lucknowiites. Their unity was unmatchable. You can’t tell a Hindu from a Muslim. There was so much peace and harmony, the aura you get from the place is so chaste. Their language was sweeter than any other I had heard. It was so respectful and soft that one automatically tends to reciprocate in that manner.  When you ask the people the reason behind their tolerance towards a Hindu or towards a Muslim, they just reply, ‘it runs in our DNA,’ they were never taught to be tolerant, they just knew.

   The Nawabs weren’t even Indian; they were descendants of the Persian race. Not only did they understand and learn the Indian culture but also imparted their ethnicity to their subjects. Hence, Lucknow was an amalgamation of both these cultures, thus giving rise to this idiosyncratic element that no other city had seen or possessed. This city stands as proof to the test of times. Never has it had communal riots. The Hindus observe Mohram here and the Muslims celebrate Holi. Muslims have built temples while Hindus have constructed mosques. While the Muslims here are mostly craftsmen, the Hindus are sellers. It is astounding to see this culture yet, which has been passed on years after years.  This city just shows how rich India was as a country not only monetarily but also culturally. This city brought me closer to India than I ever was. This city may not have the best of malls, or the best of hotels or the best of buildings but this city certainly has the best of people. Lucknow doesn’t need any of these things because they have what no other city has, the unity, the kindness and the much refined culture.  

    In conclusion, I’d like to quote Greg Anderson, “Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.”  To me D.I.P was not just another credit course but it was an experience that is imprinted in my mind, it certainly was life-changing. I don’t think any book can teach you what this experience teaches you. It’s something that you don’t write or talk about because you cannot express it, it’s something you feel.

Sanika Shah

FSLE-3

Movie Review - Boys don't cry

Based on a true story, the movie Boys Don’t cry, drama was adapted from the life of Brandon Teena, born Teena Brandon, a woman who chose to live her life as a man and suffered tragic consequences as a result. The movie can be seen from a sociological perspective focusing on issues of sex, gender  identity and sexuality in a societal context that is set out in the movie. Brandon becomes a symbol of everyone who doesn't fit neatly into the presupposed categories in the culture of everyday life

In the movie, Brandon became good friends with John Lotter , a charismatic, but sometimes violent young man, and John's friend Tom Nissan . John and Tom are important characters who represent brute masculinity at its worst. While Brandon imagined life as a male as something worth striving for, it is ironic and eventually tragic that his male friends turned out to represent everything that is wrong with traditional masculinity. John and Tom are not too bright, aimless, and often mean; John is especially dangerous because he has an impulse control problem. However, it is through John and Tom that Brandon meets Lana, a sad young woman who hates her life with her alcoholic mother, but can see no way out. Having only known guys like John and Tom wild, unruly, drunk Lana immediately connects with Brandon's sensitivity and charm, his lanky shyness, and his sweet demeanor. They become a couple, Lana completely unaware that Brandon is biologically female. Even in intimate sexual situations, Brandon is a convincing male, although there is a moment when the film suggests that Lana suspects Brandon's biological identity.

Everything goes fine until the truth about Brandon's biology is unearthed. Most of Boys Don't Cry chronicles Brandon's entrance into his group of friends and his growing relationship with Lana. But, the last quarter of the film details how those who had previously accepted him into their "family" react to the realization that Brandon's identity is complicated in a way they could not have expected, and how that leads to horrible violence.

He tells his new friends that his father lives in Memphis, Tennessee, and that he has a sister who is a model in Hollywood, all of which are lies that are not necessary to maintain his male persona. There is something strangely disconcerting about Brandon's character, and the reckless choices he makes are often infuriating. Boys Don't Cry is ultimately a human story about misunderstanding and anger that led to the unimaginable. This doesn't mean the film is depressing or hopeless, but it is sad. It is sad because Brandon Teena was only one person who suffered because others could not handle the threat he posed to their understandings of the world.

Thus the movie shows the psychological aspects of gender identity of Brandon Teena who in spite of being a women feels like that of a man, Prejudice of his family members and society who dejected him and discriminated him for feeling something which was not easily accepted by the people that time.

While he had been ostracized by his immediate family, and later his friends for they thought of him as a lesbian, Only Lana stood by him till the end in spite of knowing the truth that he was actually a women. Boys Don’t Cry is essentially a film about the transgender experience and reveals the performativity of gender through Teena Brandon and her assumption of the appearance and identity of a heterosexual male. The plot is centered around Brandon’s relationship with Lana and explores issues surrounding Brandon’s search for his ‘true’ identity and the question of Lana’s knowledge and acceptance of his transgender body. My argument stems from the idea that in feeling it necessary to adopt and ‘perform’ the gender of a heterosexual man, the character of Brandon inhabits and thus reaffirms binary categories of gender definition, conforming to hetero normative codes of ‘identity’ and essentially rejecting the notion of ‘queerness’. Lana however, embodies the concept of queer through both her acceptance of Brandon, despite his lack or gender or sexual identity and the instability of her own concept of self-hood and sexual orientation. While Teena Brandon’s portrayal of a male draws attention to gender as being inherently ‘ per-formative’, Lana’s character exhibits a messy, disrupted sexual ‘identity’ that lacks such a strong per-formative element and is arguably much more ‘natural’ and certainly more ‘queer’. Towards the end of the film, when Brandon is being victimized  John Lotter demands to know Brandon’s ‘true’ sex, saying ‘Are you a girl or are you not?’. It is from this demand that Brandon fit in to a category that Brandon’s ‘sexual identity crisis’ initially emerges. The idea of Brandon’s search for a solid ‘identity’ is key to my argument that he rejects his queerness, for in subscribing to the idea of ‘true’ self, Brandon effectively wishes to sign up to a normative category, he wants to ‘fit in’. ‘The brutality of the male gaze, however’, as suggested by Halberstam, ‘is more than just a castrating force: John and Tom not only want to see the site of Brandon’s castration, more importantly they need Lana to see it’.  They need Lana to be repulsed by the site of Brandon’s female genitalia in order to confirm their branding of him as a ‘gender outlaw’  and ‘freak’. ‘Lana kneels in front of Brandon, confirming the scene’s resemblance to a crucifixion tableau, and refuses to raise her eyes, declining once more to look at Brandon’s unveiling’.  The brutality of the male gaze and the determination of John and Tom to remain faithful to notions of biological determinism are further emphasized by the consequent rape.

The stories presented in The Brandon Teena Story and Boys Don’t Cry revolves around persons, not a group of people. The per-formative documentary and the drama-documentary or documentary-drama send a message about a person, but at the same time send a message about groups of people. The individual, Brandon, becomes an icon, a symbol for a group and movement. The traditional documentary and the biopic narrative share similarities but it is the differences that draw the line between different arguments and create controversy. Boys Don’t Cry certainly strives to clearly show Brandon’s transgender life. Whether Brandon had to tape down breasts with ace bandages or shamefully stole tampons from a gas station in real life isn't questioned because these scenes give Brandon a psychological depth that subjective accounts of his life don’t come close to. Brandon, the person and the myth, will live forever through these two films, and that is the greatest power the cinema, narrative and documentary modes aside, gives to man.­­­

Dhwani Shah